To Whom It May Concern...

Memorandum

To: The 2nd in Command of Heartbreak
From: The Best of Me

It's been brought to my attention via your actions of late that you no longer wish to be employed here. Should you need examples of the behavior that lead to this decision, allow me to offer you these: not showing up for work, not showing up for work on time, failure to complete assigned work and not being a team player. I want to let you know that it is with some measure of sadness that I have to inform you that the company has decided that it is no longer in its best interest to have you work here; so, we must let you go.

Your work here was not without merit. Some of your contributions will live on longer after your desk has been cleaned out and your security badge returned. The things that you taught the company about itself, such as it's ability to invest even after other investments have gone sour, to give partnerships we would have otherwise ignored because of prior convictions a chance and to always remember that hard work must be it's own reward. I must note that there are things about you that shall not be missed. I cannot allow you to leave without these points of constructive criticism: returning phone calls and messages is of the utmost importance to the mission of the company-which is first and foremost to provide outstanding customer service-and in failing to do so, you have "dropped the ball" in communication which cannot be tolerated, and giving just enough to get by is of no benefit to you or the company-thus if you cannot give a job your everything, then why give it anything at all? I am sad to say that had you invested more time in the company you would have seen that the company had much more to offer you than what you see on the surface. There any many benefits to be had here-a few of which you had the pleasure of sampling, however because of your untimely departure you will be unable to fully appreciate those benefits.

You have been with the company for over 3 years now and we want to let you know that some of our favorite memories of the work that was done here involve you and as such you will be missed. Because of recent budget cuts, we are unable to offer you a severance package. However, I do not think this will effect you at all--you always seemed like the type who would always land on his feet.

God's speed and goodbye.


Goodbyes always seem so final...but in this case it fits. Goodbye.