Thursday, March 26, 2009

I Put On...

***This week in history the #1 song---none other than "Bust a Move" by Young MC...download your piece of history today***

Go play somewhere I'm busy...

Any ideas on the best way to tell someone, "hey, you've f'ed up...now, go away..." without, you know, sounding all mean and whatnot...

I'm still on the relationship rant.

Why is it that it's females (I would have said women, but that's a topic that should be saved for another day...) that are expected to be the ones to be emotionally resilient??? To have hearts that are covered in fortitude??? To experience treatment that is beyond cruel and still smile and accept your best (but still lame...) efforts at "game"???

Granted, guys have their hearts broken too. I know some guys who have been through some pretty tough and tight spots with females...and my heart goes out to them. But this is not about them...

I think the issue is that since females are the more emotional sex then we are expected to be "willing"...for lack of a better word...to put ourselves out there in the name of love. And because guys are the more non-emotional sex then it's a bigger deal for them to step out on the emotional ledge. And therefore women should be appreciative of their emotional efforts. Can I step out on a ledge and say...bullshit??? Well, I mean...it is, bullshit. Just because mean don't love as often or as hard does not mean that we have to treat each effort at opening up like a lunar eclipse.

Am I happy for you that you opened up. Of course... But that does not mean that you get a steak and a blow job for doing so. In a relationship you are supposed to open up to your significant other. That's a lot of what he/she is there for...for you to talk to, be supported by...encouraged by. If you don't let them in-they will be out (obviously)...and you know what happens when you leave something valuable outside??? Someone else will come a long and scoop it up. So, fellas...tell your girl (or guy if that's how you get down) what you're feeling. It's ok. Really. And some, ahem, females, need to take that advice too. What's so wrong with opening up and being vulnerable??? Oh, You're afraid you'll be hurt... Well, that's understandable. I'm not advocating opening yourself up all willy nilly to very Tom, Dick and Sally that is available. I am however asking that you use your good judgement. If this person has shown him/her-self as a good person...take a risk. It will pay off...

That said let me tell you this...

Women (in general and myself included )care not about who you think we want/need you to be. We care about who you are...and believe that you will be a great person (and are a fantastic person now) when you get where you are going. All we ask is that you allow us to come along for the ride... Not trying to get in your way...just want a bird's eye view of the journey to where you want to be...

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I'm sorry...

...that you feel that way. I am not sorry for what I'm about to say... Not for the weak hearted.

I am not perfect. That was tough as all get out to admit, but it's true. But because I'm not perfect it doesn't mean I have to accept whatever it is that you have to offer in the area of "interest". My philosophy is simple, past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. So, if you are slow to make a move, then you will also be slow to do other things...like take out the trash, take the car to get the oil changed and the like. It bothers me when people get married to guys (or ladies) and are all shocked at their behavior down the road. "I didn't know he was so possessive" or "I didn't know she wasn't going to clean the house". Well, remember when he got upset because you wanted to spend time with your girl who had just lost her momma but it was your anniversary??? or when you got into her car and it looked like a trash can had exploded in it??? See...signs. Signs are so very important. But usually you don't think to read them until they've already been passed.

I'm not that type of person. I have discarded a many of guy who got on my nerves...did something small, but stupid, forgot to call...whatever. Because while I don't expect him to be perfect-if you exhibit behavior that I consider undesirable, on any level, in a future mate, then you need to exit stage left. And, I'll admit that a lot of this has to do with the fact that most of my family has been or is unhappily married...and when they site reasons for their unhappiness, it's about a personality flaw that they should have recognized in their mate well before now. I mean, it's only so long any one can go and hide from anyone who they are. So, if he has the inability to follow through in mailing a graduate school application, I'm unsure that you'll remember to mail the water bill...and I'd hate to come home and discover the water has been turned off...

And I'd like to insert here that not everything is a deal breaker. You just have to be consistent. I'm consistent. So, I expect other people to be the same. If you aren't consistent then you can't be counted on...and I don't know if I can trust you, to pick up a half gallon of milk on the way over...or more importantly with my heart. All I ask is that you exhibit your best behavior up front. Don't lie...but don't act like it's cool to be despondent. Once you're in, you are in. But if you get as far as the front porch and don't act pleased to be there...don't even bothering stepping on the lawn, much less coming up the driveway. If however, I let you past the front door...you're golden.

That said, I have fully accepted the fact that I may end up alone. That's ok...because not everyone is meant to be all coupled up. You are however meant to be happy...and if I gotta ride solo to make that happen, then I have no problem trading in my sedan for a 2-door...because all I need room for is me and my ego...

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Rockin' that...

Love that song... You might see me do a little more than two step if you happen to catch me out :)

So, what's new???

I wish guys would understand 2 very important things: momentum and what "pre-heat" means... Once you say you like a girl, the work is not over. Here's a new concept...keep.going. If you paid attention in physics class then you should know that momentum is a good thing as long as its a positive flow of energy. Once you lose it, figuratively speaking, its nearly impossible to get it back. So, while she may have liked you 2 weeks ago when you were speaking regularly, maybe not so much when you're been silent (for whatever reason). Out of sight, out of mind. If you want to be all I can see, make sure I don't forget you. If I do, I'm likely to remember alright...remember how great life was without you after all. And, if you pre-heat the oven before you put in the roast, it might actually finish cooking. No one wants a roast that isn't "well done" in the middle...if you get my drift...

I'm better at this than you aren't I???

I've been going back in time with my musical tastes. Downloaded some old school school Destiny's Child, you know, back when there were 4 members and Beyonce had cornrows, and some 112 and Jagged Edge. It's been nice listening to old songs and recalling memories that are forever intertwined with those lyrics. TP2.com, the 2 disc version... Or Ginuwine..."Same Old G"...All the old school Timbaland tracks. I loved that music. I'm seriously considering going to Best Buy buying a dozen CD's that were released circa 2002.

On to other news...

I just spent $60...yes, $60 purchasing a guy at date auction that I can technically see for free. Call me crazy. I did it for 2 reasons. 1) L wanted this particular guy to participate...and he was being non-compliant so I offered and 2) It was SO much fun because no one knew who I was...and so my anonymity added to my personal excitement. I just want to know one thing....how is it that you chicken out @ $61??? I mean, really. Money well spent...but I wish I'd have gotten a receipt for my taxes. And no...I won't actually be going on a date with the guy I purchased. That was for appearances only. I do however hope that he has a great time with whomever he winds up using that date coupon on :)

I just wanna let you know/That I gotta crush on you...

Bye...

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Win, lose...or draw...

Technically a draw means you both lost. I mean, if you can't determine a winner...then what else is there???

For the record, I won.

Things have been...busy to say the least. I had an allergic reaction about a week ago. I'm not sure if it was the sage (that I know I'm allergic to, but ate anyway) in the turkey or the avocado (that I've eaten before and didn't almost die from...but in my life that doesn't mean much...) that caused my tongue to swell up and turned red like it had been burned. Fun? Not so much. I'm all better now...but that was tough going. K came for a visit this past weekend...and she was here a couple weeks before that as well. Lots of fun. My favorite part of the week-end was when she flashed her ring to the single guys in the bar. It was like kryptonite :) but in a good way.

It's always good having someone from your "past" come to visit. Especially when she brings a box full of pictures that document almost every embarrassing moment from your undergraduate career...from dancing on someone's coffee table in a tube tube top, jeans so tight I'm sure I shouldn't have been wearing them and a "to-go" cup lof liquor...to the tomboy stage that lasted for about 3 years in undergrad (which, if I told people now that I used to wear the ex's sweats and t-shirts almost exclusively unless the occasion demanded I look like I a girl, they wouldn't believe me...). I loved looking back on those moments (the orange hoodie...GSS pinning...I was that drunk???) and remembering that stories that went along with them. She had a few valid points about my personality... She thinks I should not always say what I'm thinking---more so I should find the happy medium between standing up for myself and being a b*^%h and that instead of taking care of everyone I should focus more on who is going to take care of me.

I'd like to point out that this has been a focus of mine for quite sometime...finding who will take of me. But it's most important to me that I do what I've been taught and to stay true to the core of who I am. Who I am is all about taking care of people, doing what I can do to see them be they best they can be...and as a result I feel the best about myself. There is a big part of me that is selfish...I grew up as an only child, so that only make sense that I'm not so big on sharing. But there's an even bigger part of me that's affectionate and giving because I've seen so many other people give for me. Maybe I should focus even more on finding that person who will give me just as much as I give to them...but I'm a huge believer that what you put out into the universe will come back to you...the good and the bad. And as much good as I've put out there, what's right around the corner is worth waiting for. And worth waiting for it to find me...

Peace...