Thursday, April 23, 2009

What happens in the dark...

...will eventually show up in the mini feed.

What do I look like...captain save a relationship??? You gotta be kidding me...

So, my ex is married. Congrats. So thrilled for the both of them...really. While I don't necessarily agree with his decision I am actually happy for him. Finding the person that you are meant to be with is one of God's greatest blessings...and I can't hate on anyone for feeling as if they have found that. I don't agree with the decision for a multitude of reasons...none of which are the standard, "he should be with me". Those reasons are more along the line of "that's not what I would have done..." So, he's married and I'm happy that he's happy. yay. Really.

We still talk...*gasp*. Not so frequently as to create a problem but enough that I still consider him my friend. And if he were not married he'd be my best friend. The fact that he's married really throws the whole best friend thing for a loop because I can imagine that it would annoy his spouse that I can finish his sentences and that he knows I'm about to say something well before I actually have the words formulated in my head. Scary...

We are friends and apparently, this is a problem. Not for me...and I'm sure not for him...but for every.one.else. According to the masses I'm "disrespecting their marriage", "entertaining his feelings for me" and "causing problems". wow. Now, normally I don't care what anyone else thinks. And to be honest, this is not really an exception. But I must explain because I'm tired of people judging me. don't.judge.me. It's not a good look for anyone.

I do not love him. At all. Anymore. Not even a little. He will always have a very special place in my heart and my life because of all the time we've known each other. We stood by each other and loved each other through 6...almost 7 years. I can't imagine what life would be like if I couldn't ever talk to him or couldn't share in the moments in his life that make him happy...and he share in mine. If I wanted to complicate his marriage...or the relationship that led to the nuptials, I'd have done so. And please trust that I wouldn't be plotting and planning here in SC when he's 7+ hours away. What kind of sense does that make??? Furthermore, that's not who I am... I am however the type of person who refuses to cut off my nose to spite my face...and ending a friendship with someone who knows me as well as I know myself (better in some cases) would hurt far more than ending the actual relationship ever did.

Someone posed the question, "how would you feel if you were her..." and the answer to that question is "not as smart as the (awesome) femme who pens this blog..." . Seriously. If I were her, there's a whole lot about this situation that would different. That aside, I'd feel like this..."..." I don't care. I'm not like a lot of people. I'm not like a lot of females. Women get all bent out of shape when another female intrudes on their "man space". It becomes a battle of wills...lots of name calling and being bitter. All because he wanted to have a friend that had a vagina...and you, as the woman in his life is mad because you think what he's interested in is the vagina...and in all actuality...he's interested in having someone else to talk to besides...well, you. Granted, when I was younger, I fell into that category. Now, not so much. Go. Talk. Make friends. Do whatever it takes to get you off my (very comfy) sofa where you sit and stare at me like I'm the most awesome thing ever created (I might be, but please, go somewhere). I'm all about whomever I'm dating (married to should that occur one day) having friends. Whatever the sex. Because I've learned...the hard way...that you can't s top a boy from letting his penis wander. So, while she may fear that a) I want her husband and b) he wants me back... I'd like to say that c) none of that is true...and d) if you didn't know that already-you might want to rethink the vows. I'm just sayin'...

Enough with the "..."

Now.. I'll admit that I have no idea where he stands in the emotions area. But I would like say that in all his shortcomings The Ex has never been the type of guy to take marriage anything less than very serious. He's a good person. I'm sure he is an excellent husband. And I'm also sure that even if he did carry a torch for me he wouldn't have married her...and if he did, that's his bad...but that has nothing to do with me. Can't help it that I'm amazing. And...if all of that hasn't cleared up the "why are you still talking to him" issue...I leave you this: he is far more entertaining than the rest of you...and since when did Blackberry Messenger count as talking???...and why are you all in my business???...you want to pay the cellular bill???...it's due by the 10th and late after the 15th.

I want people to re-think what they post on Facebook. If you can't stop the virtual spewing of feelings and posting of pictures and new relationships then I ask that you change your privacy settings such that everything you get into does not show up on my mini feed. If you want to treat me like I don't know...then create a situation where I will actually not know. And, truthfully...Facebook is not that serious and I could honestly care less. It's just that it's in poor taste to behave in the way people do...and then act all different later like...it's not all online in e'rbody's mini feed. As classy as I keep it, it would be in poor taste for me not to let you know. If you plan to run game...keep your game tight...

In other news...

There isn't any. Keep it movin'

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Man up...

Seriously.

I'm not quite sure why I waited over an hour for my little brother to come and change my flat tire (and take it to get it repaired) while a (seemingly) perfectly good and able bodied guy was sitting, like...right there. In the moment, I think I was too irritated with Honda's and State Farm's lack of concern for my deflated tire...and so it didn't dawn on me that the person with whom I'd dined could have at least offered. Now, I'm as independent as they come and as such I am completely capable of changing my own tire. I just...won't. And in that moment, heels and nice jeans be damned, I would have jacked Juan Carlos up and changed his socks and shoes...but I didn't want to shame the guy...and had he attempted to help after not helping before, I'd have had to make him walk back to where he came from...

*news flash...it appears that the aforementioned person is off the market. I'm totally crying a river over this one... and by totally I mean not...* and the importance of that notification is made even more clear by the fact I typed in it all lower case...well, except for the "I"...because those refer to Me...and no matter what, I'm always important...even if the thing I'm speaking of is not... moving on...

Let's see...what's new???

Only a couple more weeks until the end of the semester. This bittersweet. Sweet because who doesn't love summer vacay...and bitter because well, I'll be taking classes (finishing up thesis and taking anatomy) and because all my favs will be leaving me :( I never thought I'd love this many more people. It's hard to imagine life without seeing these people all the time like I do now. And yes, we are all moving in to bigger and better things...but that doesn't mean that I'll miss them any less.

I'm also back to 2-a-days in the gym. Not excited about those. I'm SO sick of seeing myself all plump in these pictures people keep posting on Facebook. I am not plump...but the camera adds 10 pounds, which is exactly why I keep insisting that people not take photos. And furthermore if they must take the pictures why do they have to tag them??? Its one thing for you to have a memento of the moment post lunch when I was not at my thinnest moment of the day...another thing entirely for you to post that pic online and tag it so that everyone and their momma can see it. So, I figure if I want to look my real weight in pictures then I have to lose like 10...15 more pounds. I have no idea where this weight will come from...especially since my trainer has explained to me (at length) that I really only have about 5 more pounds that I can lose and maintain. Whatev...

I guess I should at least look like I'm working. So, here goes...

Have a good one...no really, I mean it.