Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Swagger...

This week-end. wow. All lower case letters because that's just how un-exciting everything was. The dress was a hit....but it not for the shoes (adorable hot pink BCBG peep toe stilletoes...with a cleverly designed heel and two little silver buckles at the toe) it would have been a total waste. There are a few things to mention...


*Guys protect drunk hoes...why???


*Clothes are out...half naked definitely in.


*Classy has gone the way of real music...and what few "real" ladies there are left in the world may not be enough to bring it back


*When your only options are make a scene or cry...you find that other option you had stowed away and you leave...


*I love my little brothers...to fault. I never knew there would be people who cared about me as much as I did...and then here they come. My own little heroes...sans capes of course :)


*I will continue to do it real big with the eyeshadow and the mascara.


What's the deal with dudes these days??? I'm so confused. And as a card carrying member of the female species I would like to put out that there I'm very in touch with my masculine side... Meaning, I can, and will and have been known to act just like a dude in matters of the heart...and if you think I won't...then just try.me. However, the events of the past couple of weeks have me all slack-jawed. I'm in...awe. You get used to people acting a certain way and then they go and do something different. I'm generally quick to adjust but I'm not up for this kind of flexibility. I'm getting old...I don't bend like I used to.


It's like the more out there you are, the more respect you get from a guy. And I'm pretty sure that's not how it should be. I have my own...a queen working for her throne...just like the song says. And I would hope that a guy would respect that and furthermore be proud of that...and of all my accomplishments. But not so much. I like to take care of myself. I'm proud of the fact that I don't have to ask for help. I don't need a guy. Yes, it would be nice to have someone to take the car in for maintenance (like this week I need an oil change...) or to help bring in the groceries from the car...or to take out the trash...and yes, even to pump the gas (something I just started to abhor doing).

You can't predictable unpredictable...break the unbreakable...take the untakable...

Friday, January 9, 2009

Polka dot...

Oh, no...not again...

That's a throwback line from the Animaniacs. See, Dot was making costumes for a performance the trio would be doing in a couple of days. She kept showing them polka dotted fabrics...to which they would say, "Polka dot???" and she would then say ok, and proceed to polka. Until the last time, when she was like...

Ok, ok. I admit. It sounded (much) funnier in my head the way I remembered it...

So, I feel the need to get away. I feel...trapped by Clemson. Odd. Normally I like being here...lately though I feel as if someone is sitting on my chest and it's hard to breathe. I had planned 2 quick trips...one to Charleston the weekend after next and then a even quicker trip to Florida...and after that a longer stint in the Atl. I've preemptively cancelled one of those...no need to guess which, huh? I think in my head I know it would be rude to be in some one's home state...in their city and not make an effort to say hello. At the same time I know no good can come of that hello...and even less good can come of the good-bye that must follow. Especially since it's a real good-bye, not the general see-you-later variety. So it's best if I stay out of the Sunshine State. At least for now.

I am uber-excited about seeing Atl again. It feels like it's been forever since I drove down 85 South into the city. I miss it. I'd move in a second if I could. Atlanta just feels like home when I'm there. I feel like there's nothing I couldn't do if that were my residence...like having a 404 or 770 number would afford me different opportunities than the 864 one I have now. Like living downtown would bring me a different life...being around other young people with the same kind of drive and determination I have would push me to do better...be better. Of course, I get the same kind of feeling from DC...only when I'm there I have to admit there's a little it of fear. I'd be a real, live city girl in DC. A small fish in a really big...highly populated pond. And that, makes me nervous. But I do like the idea of "metro-ing" everywhere and hailing a cab in the district to have coffee with friends from work. And buying a townhouse that costs more than my entire string of educations...even if you multiplied them by themselves...and loving every second of not needing a car. At the same time though, I'm 8 hours away from everything I've ever loved...and what if something happens...then what??? Yeah, yeah. I know, I know. I'd put my big girl panties on and take a plane...and just deal. (Side note, I never realized what an offensive word 'panties' was until just...now). However, it's not like I have to make a decision now...

Let's see...what's new. I'm not motivated at all do do work for my strategic communications class. I am going to do the work...it's just hard to make myself do the reading...and the writing. Boo. I'm also realizing that the I need more to do. As a result I'm going to resume the knitting I'd postponed because there were more important things to do...and I'm buying more Wii games. I figure if I have to sit in front of my tv I should have a Wii remote in my hand to prevent the unnecessary snacking that just seems to go with tv watching in my apartment.

That is all. For now..For today at the very least. I've errands to run and laundry to do...an apartment to clean. Being an adult feels had these days...boo to adulthood. I just wanna play...

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

One for the money...

I'm at work. yay. It is nice to have a job to go to...because the current state of things could have it another way. It's raining outside. Very dreary. I feel like I should be in bed...or at the very least on my sofa, taking in the best that afternoon television has to offer...and by that I mean shows in syndication that I've already seen at least 3 or 4 times. It's hard to be motivated to do something other than this when all you see outside are raindrops that mock you like tears from heaven. It's sad...

I'll be working out today. I'm actually craving something that allows me to move. The treadclimber at Gold's is a-mazing! I've lost 3 pounds so far and while I would love to have one in my home, I'm at least 7 g's away from bringing that gym quality machine through my front door. The "settle" will be a treadmill...but I'm not sure which one. I think it would be a lot easier to get in the extra cardio if I could do it in front of my tv at home instead of dragging myself out into the elements that create SC winters. I think I'll venture out and try some out at Sears and see what I come up with.

Did you watch the Bachelor last night??? I'm actually watching the very end of it now since I decided sleep was a much better option than watching that poor guy hand out the roses. (side note, I also watched The City and Daddy's Girls at work before the last bit of this...and I must say I almost shed a tear at the end of Daddy's Girl's. Such a sweet show...) I am frightened for Jason...really scared. Especially when I watch the previews for the rest of the season and I see Deanna comes back!!! WOW! Just when I thought I'd make a clean break away from reality tv...I've been sucked back in. And by a show devoted to finding love no less. Good luck Jason, good luck...

So, on the agenda for today. Work. Ehh. Lunch at some point and then later a snack and the gym for as long as I can stand it. Home to a big juicy salad (don't be a hater, you know you want one too...) and then comfy and on the couch for the premiere for Season 5, part 2 of Nip/Tuck. Don't call me after 9:30 because at that point, I no longer know you.

Later babes...

"i think my being single has a lot to do with fear on the guys part. what he doesn't realize however is that right before the relationship begins there is all kinds of fear. fear of forever and all that. but it's the good kind. not so much the good kind of fear when you wake up next to a poor man's Banana and go..."crap...i'm stuck. what have i done???" that my friend is the bad kind of fear. so if I were him, I'd take my chances with the good fear...after all forever is a long time to wear the wrong ring..."

Monday, January 5, 2009

Like Def Jam and Hova...

So, I'm in the car. The new whip...aka Juan Carlos (this car is a EX V6 Accord...very aggressive yet smooth, like a Spanish guy) and I think I'd like to take a break from the Luda and David Banner and T.I. I've been listening to on constant repeat since I've had the car. I skip to the John Legend. Hot beats...nice lyrics. And then it hits me...this album is the music anthology to that relationship. Damn it all... but you know, like Bobby and Whitney, except without the kiddies...


We ova...


32 days. What's a girl to do??? I'm thinking retail therapy and lots of running... Any and all other suggestions are welcome.

So, the new year is here. yay. I cannot find much to be happy about. Obama takes office in 15 days (YAY) and I'm all about Bush packing his [things] and exiting the White House as quickly as possible. I think he should hold a press conference and announce that he is leaving earlier than planned. It seems that he has mentally checked out (as if he were ever mentally checked in to begin with...) so to speak as this Israel-Gaza thing gets worse. I'm all about keeping tradition, but I think we need Obama sooner rather than later...and by sooner I mean 2 weeks ago. Bush...how many boxes will you be needing??? I think I can take leave for a few days to help expedite this process...

This 2009 thing came a bit sooner than I had expected. In October it seemed a so far away...and now its...here. I wasn't prepared. I'm not making resolutions. It's hard to make those when you are already so perfectly behaved. The evil formerly known as my tooth is gone, which means if I had made resolutions one of them would be to lose the 5...maybe 6 pounds I'd gained since I had regained the ability to chew. Other than that however, I've nothing in my life that I want to change...and if I did, New Years isn't the time to start them. All the vices I have I'll need to get through the next aforementioned 32 days. Something tells me I picked the wrong time to give up drinking... I'm kidding about that (ok...ok...maybe only a little...).

Let's see...its been awhile, so here's the quick list of what's been going on...

*I hit a deer. A doe. A female deer. She killed Bubbles. Consequently I bought the new whip, which I am in love with. Dark gray, 18 inch alloys...leather...heated seats and a sunroof. As Jim Jones would say..."Ballin'"

*I had an infected tooth. It was evil. Now its gone. They did let me keep it...which grosses most people out, but for the record I did toss it 2 days later. It wasn't as much of a novelty as I had thought.

*I had an allergic reaction. I thought I would die. I am quite thankful for Zo, since he rescued me from both the allergic reaction and the deer fiasco. It was Thai food. But, I've eaten it again (several times over...) since then and I didn't die.

*I bought 14 pairs of shoes. Yes, 14. Including Sperry galoshes and BCBG red peep toe pumps. You can't buy class...but a classy lady can buy shoes ;)

*I went to the gun range on J's birthday. Awesome time. I shot a .22 handgun, .22 rifle and .23 rifle which almost took my face off. I loved every second of it though and can't wait to do it all over again.

*R is getting married. He called while I was in line at the pharmacy. I contemplated the following...drinking myself into a stupor, crying myself to sleep (not because I love him still but because even if I don't want him I'm no so sure all of my heart was ready for him to want someone else), driving to Florida...I've no idea what I've done once I got there. What I actualy did was to shed a few tears and then built a bridge and got over it. Even if my heart could open up for him again my brain would live in fear that the next would be the day that he'd change his mind. Best wishes...

*I'm getting A's in my grad classes. Your girl is brilliant...as if you needed any more proof...

*Gram is doing awesome.

And now... I'm watching the Bachelor and drinking my 8th glass of water for the day. I'll likely have some animal crackers sometime between now and the rose ceremony...you know, just in case you're wondering.

I'll be back tomorrow, because...you know, I realized in my hiatus that I need this just as much as I need to breathe. It's good to have a place to vent.

I'm the last of a dying breed...